Premier League Bearded XI 2014-15

Ben Hamer

It’s a shocker at the top as Leicester City’s Ben Hamer is officially the Premier League Beard of the Year!

Ben Hamer 3 Ben Hamer 4

 

 

Hamer beats last year’s winner Tim Howard by a whisker, but continues the fine tradition of bearded goalkeepers.

This year’s list is very much a bottom of the table affair with only 2 players from the so-called ‘big clubs’. This shows pogonophobia at the highest level obviously prevalent. Only one survivor from last year’s XI shows the sad transience of many a beard taken before their prime…

Goalkeeper

Ben-Hamer-2
Ben Hamer, Leicester City (c)

Long and thick. Just the way I like them. On the verge of being straggly, but does just enough to keep its volume. The extra protection is just what a goalkeeper needs, and, frankly, should be adopted by more to avoid serious injury.

★BEARD OF THE SEASON★

Defenders

Marcin-Wasilewski
Marcin Wasilewski, Leicester City

Bigger isn’t always better (apparently). This is a straight talking, no-nonsense kind of beard that adds to the imposing figure of Wasilewski.

Nathan-Baker
Nathan Baker, Aston Villa

I must admit, this one was a bit under my beard radar. Clearly influenced by Villa Legend Olof Mellberg, Baker let this beast grow out to strike fear into strikers.

Armand-Traore
Armand Traore, QPR

A fine bushy number from the Frenchmen, who is clearly not at fault for QPR’s relegation. Sad he should be let down by his smooth faced team-mates.

Gael-clichy
Gael Clichy, Man City

An experienced player who has wisely chosen to grow a beard in the hopes of enlightening others on big money to follow suit.

Midfielders

Aaron-Ramsey
Aaron Ramsey, Arsenal

Ramsey is another proving it’s not just the bottom half that gets to have all the fun.

Joe-Ledley
Joe Ledley, Crystal Palace

A highly popular beard, and one that will be disappointed to play second fiddle to Ben Hamer. A good solid beard, thick and meaty.

Sandro-2
Sandro, QPR

The only survivor from last year. We haven’t seen a return of the front pony tail, but it’s bigger and meaner and getting relegated…

Mike-Jedinak
Mike Jedinak, Crystal Palace

Captain of club and country, and has single-beardedly given Crystal Palace a fantastic season.

Strikers

Steven Fletcher, Sunderland

The Scot adds a little substance to what is frankly a despicable lack of front man facial foliage across the Premier League. Surely with the prevailing tendency to play one up top, strikers would grow a beard to keep themselves company whilst ploughing that lone furrow.

Danny-Ings
Danny Ings, Burnley

A good season means Ings may be off a big club (Not that he looks pleased about it here). We can only hope he doesn’t get star-struck and led astray by some smooth faced bad influence.

Manager

Sean-dyche
Sean Dyche (Interim)

Oh Premier League I’m disappointed with you. The only bearded manager to survive this far in the season is a ginger goatee. This job will be up for review after the final game, and we’ll hope to get a big name in over the summer.

For more sports beard updates, follow @SportBeardWatch on twitter!

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