Beard World Cup Second Round

Groups A & B
Groups C & D
Groups E & F
Groups G & H
Second Round
Quarter Finals
Semi Final

It’s knockout time in the Beard World Cup, this is where things get serious.

Cameroon 4 -0 The Netherlands
Benoit Assou Ekoto, CameroonDaley Blind, Netherlands

Plenty of depth to the Cameroonian side see them comfortably through. The Netherlands had a few lightly bearded players, but without a star player to rely on were always going out early.

Brazil 1 – 2 Spain

Fred, BrazilSergio Ramos, Spain

Spain, despite not being at their best, still manage to overcome the hosts causing riots, and barbers to be attacked in the streets. Luis Gustavo’s moustache encapsulated the sexy image of Brazil, but not to be outdone, Fred weighed in with this effort.

Greece 4 – 0 England


You don’t want to face Greece this early in a beard tournament, and true to form they, including Karnezis, were relentless against England who relied almost solely on youngsters Lallana and 18-year-old Luke Shaw.

Ivory Coast 2 -3 Italy (aet)


A closer game than most pundits predicted, but Ivory Coast’s over-reliance on goatees left them exhausted after 90 minutes and the Italians, with Daniele De Rossi, managed to stylishly claim the victory. Didier Drogba a massive fuzzy highlight.

Switzerland 2 – 2 Iran (Iran win 5-3 on penalties)

Switzerland were a big surprise package and flew in under the radar. They battled valiantly through the group stages with Mehmedi and Behrami’s bad boy beards, but ultimately the experience and strength in depth of the Iranians just barely overcame them.

Bosnia & Herzegovina 3 – 1 France


An entertaining ding-dong battle between two teams making the most of what they had. France’s over reliance on the bizarre hair/beard combo of Benzema proved to be their undoing. Bosnia surprisingly strong with Kolasinac popping up with a decider in injury time.

USA 2 – 1 Algeria

Jermaine JonesMbolhi

An even game throughout, but the rather shallow beards of the Algerians let them down in the end. Goalkeeper M’Bolhi badly let down by his defence allowing the USA to control the game.

Portugal 1 – 0 Belgium (aet)

AlmeidaSteven Defour

Portugal managed to block out every Belgian attack playing a negative game, even from the likes of Steven Defour, as the sheer creepiness of Hugo Almeida’s moustache kept them at bay. Belgium played valiantly, but we get the feeling 2018 will be their tournament.


The quarter final draw:

USA v Greece

Italy v Bosnia

Cameroon v Iran

Portugal v Spain


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